surely one would expect good behavior

at a church right?

If so then be prepared to be let down. ILs and Baptisms do not go well I guess. Yesterday was a family Baptism. Granted the last time I went to a Roman Catholic Church that was not for a wedding or other celebration was sometime longer ago than I can remember- but I would anticipate decorum at church.

There is always a bit of kerfuffle about the holidays as to who will spend which days where. This is common to a lot of families but in mine it is pretty intense as B is not there- he was mother-in-laws first born- and was having a hard time letting him go- and unfortunately her attachment has been transitioned to the kids. My parents live out of state and it is harder to get to see them. In addition- even within B's family there is a certain feeling of tug of war. B's mother's side versus his father's side- traditionally B's mother's side laid claim to Christmas eve and his father's side claimed Christmas day (both of which expected to maintain said claims even after B's marriage)This year to add some fun to the confusion both sides of B's family have decided to celebrate on Christmas eve. Great! Given my lack of enthusiasm surrounding going to his family with out help or an adequate defense system I am kind of nervous about braving it solo. Given that no one's house is even remotely child friendly.

Groundwork laid- at church surrounded by all sides of everyone's family and friends- Jewish, Christian, Catholic, Agnostic MILs starts loudly discussing Christmas Eve and loudly announces that with or without me she will pick the kids up on Christmas Eve and take them to her side's celebration. I felt lots of eyes on me eager to see my reaction. My initial admitted visceral reaction was to take her scarf and put it in her mouth and tell her in a not kind nor gentle way that we would discuss this later. Instead I tried to say that I had no idea what was going on this year.

I was exceptionally uncomfortable. It seems like a contest to see where we'll go year after year and where we do not go the 'losers' will be upset. I cannot win. It is this way for EVERY holiday and heaven forbid I would like to see my family. More drama.

Later at the party. B's aunt discretely said that if I wanted to go to their side's celebration that she would come to my house help get the kids ready drive with me then help me get them to bed later- a much less obtrusive solution.