I may have to

eat my words re: the MIL. She was exceptionally nice the other day. Scary. It makes me wonder what she is up to- all suspicious and all. But I'll take it for what it was worth.

I am sick so she made me homemade chicken soup. So wow. Shocking right?

surely one would expect good behavior

at a church right?

If so then be prepared to be let down. ILs and Baptisms do not go well I guess. Yesterday was a family Baptism. Granted the last time I went to a Roman Catholic Church that was not for a wedding or other celebration was sometime longer ago than I can remember- but I would anticipate decorum at church.

There is always a bit of kerfuffle about the holidays as to who will spend which days where. This is common to a lot of families but in mine it is pretty intense as B is not there- he was mother-in-laws first born- and was having a hard time letting him go- and unfortunately her attachment has been transitioned to the kids. My parents live out of state and it is harder to get to see them. In addition- even within B's family there is a certain feeling of tug of war. B's mother's side versus his father's side- traditionally B's mother's side laid claim to Christmas eve and his father's side claimed Christmas day (both of which expected to maintain said claims even after B's marriage)This year to add some fun to the confusion both sides of B's family have decided to celebrate on Christmas eve. Great! Given my lack of enthusiasm surrounding going to his family with out help or an adequate defense system I am kind of nervous about braving it solo. Given that no one's house is even remotely child friendly.

Groundwork laid- at church surrounded by all sides of everyone's family and friends- Jewish, Christian, Catholic, Agnostic MILs starts loudly discussing Christmas Eve and loudly announces that with or without me she will pick the kids up on Christmas Eve and take them to her side's celebration. I felt lots of eyes on me eager to see my reaction. My initial admitted visceral reaction was to take her scarf and put it in her mouth and tell her in a not kind nor gentle way that we would discuss this later. Instead I tried to say that I had no idea what was going on this year.

I was exceptionally uncomfortable. It seems like a contest to see where we'll go year after year and where we do not go the 'losers' will be upset. I cannot win. It is this way for EVERY holiday and heaven forbid I would like to see my family. More drama.

Later at the party. B's aunt discretely said that if I wanted to go to their side's celebration that she would come to my house help get the kids ready drive with me then help me get them to bed later- a much less obtrusive solution.

What Planet Is She From???

This occurred before she was my mother-in-law for clarification sake- but it still was pretty out there:

One morning my boyfriend and I were at his house and we decided to go out for breakfast. Trying to be nice to his mother, we decided to invite her, on the notion that we were going to be together for a while it would be best if we could all get along. She accepted the invitation.

We went to a local place and after we were seated she began ignoring me. Which at first bothered me, then enraged me as I listened to the conversation. She was trying to set up my boyfriend with other women- while I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE! She knew we had been dating for a while and were 'serious'.

It took everything I had not to yell or smack her. That incident however was an excellent indicator for the rest of my relationship with my mother-in-law.

You know

a few years ago when I would tell about my looney in-laws my friends would say "come one they can't be that bad" or something like it- then they got to know them- and they are. Now my friends listen and laugh to the stories that my in laws provide. A few of them actually regale their friends with the antics of my in-laws. Mostly receiving a 'what is wrong' with them response when some of their peculiarities are exposed.

So I am not being overly harsh- they are just strange!!!

Same song, second verse...

My in-laws live in another state. In fact they live several states away. And I rather enjoy that distance... it helps us stay on good terms. Unfortunately, there is one time of the year when I HATE this distance. And that time is in 23 days.

Every year, we go through the same discussion. BigGuy and I have been married for over 7 years now, and we've explained the game plan every.single.year.

Each year, we switch off families for Christmas. Last year, we went to my in-laws' home for Christmas. This year, we'll be here with my family. In my mind, it's the only way we can keep things "fair" for the grandparents, as far as letting them get equal amounts of Christmas morning wonder.

Every year, one of the mothers pouts because she doesn't get to be with the kids ON Christmas day. Now, a logical person (usually BigGuy) would recommend that we all spend Christmas together. But that will not work, because my mom doesn't like to share. She also runs with scissors, and abhors other lessons we normally learn in Kindergarten. So every year, I look like the jerk who refuses to mix families. And every year I have to talk a pouting grandmother off a proverbial ledge because it's not "her year."

You wouldn't think the people I have to tell to grow up would be the adults.